The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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