There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
