whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
