Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
