No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
