i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
