You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
