i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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