in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
