So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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