awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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