I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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