im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
