hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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