You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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