Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Someone shattered a urinal.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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