He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
