Porn is love you can see.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
