I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize