If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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