p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
