And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My ass is underappreciated
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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