i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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