I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i think i just lost a toe
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
