And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Ketchup is God's man juice
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
