So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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