everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
