yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
