she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
