OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize