Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
