You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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