i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize