the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
