All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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