he told me I talked like a deaf person
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
