Banned from zoo.
Again?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
This baby is an asshole
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
