used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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