weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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