I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
