I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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