I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
