Sponge bath it is.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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