my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
