Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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