Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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