This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize