So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
