the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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