i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he was CRYING into my vagina
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
