We're facebook friends in real life
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
