Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
