You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
