I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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